Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore
by Serb
Summary: Dumbledore has been kidnapped! No one knows where he is, and only Severus, Sibyl, Hagrid and Filch can save him! Please Read + Review
1. Dumbledore's dissapearence

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Sorry you've all been waiting for my new story, but I had some problems on logging in.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review!  
  
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The entire staff in the staffroom looked at Minerva McGonagall who was very pale and was shaking visibly.  
  
'What's got her so upset?' mumbled Hagrid.  
  
His question was soon answered when McGonagall began to speak.  
  
'My colleagues,' she began shakily, while Severus snorted in cruel humor,' a terrible thing has just happened in Hogwarts.'  
  
'Well, spit it out!' impatiently said Julia Sprout.  
  
Minerva shot her a dirty look.  
  
'Headmaster Albus Dumbledore has been kidnapped!' cried out McGonagall.  
  
Everyone was quiet, except Filch who said: 'So?'  
  
'We don't have any idea who kidnapped him or where he went,' continued McGonagall,' I haven't searched his place thoroughly, but I couldn't see a clue. I think that we should send our best people for this.'  
  
'And who would that be?' asked cautiously Severus, dreading the answer.  
  
'Why you, Sibyl, Rubeus and Argus!' said obviously Minerva, as if it was one of the stupidest questions anybody asked her.  
  
Sibyl choked on her tea that she was drinking, and stared at Minerva incredulously.  
  
'Me? How can I go with this inside me?' asked Sibyl, motioning at her bloated, pregnant stomach.  
  
'You'll manage,' icily replied McGonagall, while Sibyl mumbled something about Gryffindor cruelty which was well-hidden in students and certain teachers.  
  
'How about if we go to the scene of the crime?' asked carefully Severus.  
  
'That'll be in Dumbledore's office,' explained Minerva,' but I've already searched the place!'  
  
'Ahh,' mysteriously replied Severus,' but you may have missed something with those dirty glasses of yours!'  
  
McGonagall swore under her breath, blushed, and cleaned her glasses (who were really dirty!). Once she finished, she put them back on.  
  
'Very well Severus,' she sniffed, adjusting her spectacles,' you may check Albus' office again!'  
  
******  
  
Severus, Sibyl, Filch and Hagrid stepped carefully into Dumbledore's office. It was strangely messy: the papers were everywhere, the chair was upturned etc. It seemed that there was some sort of struggle. Severus carefully looked under the table. Nothing.  
  
'Search the office everyone!' ordered Severus.  
  
And without another word, they searched. Severus stepped over to Fawkes, the phoenix, who was perched up on his stand, looking around proudly, obviously having no idea that his master was in trouble.  
  
Some bravery, thought Severus.  
  
'If only you can tell us where Albus is,' sighed Severus, as if expecting an answer from the pheonix.  
  
Fawkes looked at him stupidly and squawked: 'Polly wanna cracker!'  
  
Severus looked amazed back at the bird.  
  
'I didn't know that phoenixes could talk!' burst out Sibyl,' Especially Fawkes!'  
  
'Dumbleder must've bin teaching 'im,' said Hagrid happily,' ah saw 'im once trying to do it!'  
  
'What a clever bird,' commented Argus thoughtfully.  
  
Fawkes looked stupidly once again at him.  
  
'Polly wanna kill lemon drops!' Fawkes squawked.  
  
'You were saying?' asked Severus, raising an eyebrow.  
  
'Lemon drops are disgusting!' defended himself Filch.  
  
Severus rolled his eyes, but had to admit that Filch was right. Dumbledore's favorite lemons drops WERE disgusting.  
  
They kept looking around, until Severus spotted something in Dumbledore's half open drawer. It was a letter. He slid his hand into the drawer and pulled it out. It said:  
  
'Dear Dumbledore,  
  
We are running out of time. Send it to Vienna at once.  
  
Dushan Popovich'  
  
'So Dushan is involved in this?' inquired Severus raising an eyebrow.  
  
'But what is it that Dumbledore is trying to send him?' asked frantically Sibyl.  
  
Severus pocketed the letter, looking grave.  
  
'I don't know, but we have to go to Vienna to find out!' whispered Severus.  
  
They all went out of the room, leaving Fawkes sitting on his perch.  
  
'Polly wanna eat Sorting Hat!' chirruped Fawkes happily.  
  
  
  
Writer's Note: I know it isn't so funny, but this is also the beginning. And who said sequels from funny stories are still funny. Any, I'm at least trying to make it funny. Please review! 


	2. Meeting in Vienna

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Sorry you've all been waiting for my new story, but I had some problems on logging in.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review! All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except Dushan.  
  
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'You want to go to Vienna?' asked McGonagall, raising an eyebrow.  
  
'Yes,' explained Severus,' We found this letter in Dumbledore's office, which seems to have come from Vienna, Germany, from Dushan.'  
  
Minerva looked at the letter, and raised her eyebrow even more, obviously causing more pain to her temple.  
  
'Fine,' she stated simply,' I will contact Dushan to wait for your arrival.'  
  
She wrote a letter, gave it to an owl, and threw the owl out of the window.  
  
'Erm.Preffesser..owls can fly, yeh know,' stammered shyly Hagrid.  
  
'Do they?' asked McGonagall, blinking stupidly. * I REALLY don't like McGonagall! *  
  
She looked around and spotted a yellow quill on the table.  
  
'This will take you to Vieanna,' she said, pointing to the quill.  
  
'What? A quill- ahhhhh!!!' screamed Filch, as he was sucked in by the quill.  
  
'A portkey.' Explained McGonagall.  
  
Hagrid touched, and he too was sucked in. McGonagall looked towards Sibyl and Severus.  
  
' Your turn.'  
  
'But will it hurt the baby?' whimpered with worry Sibyl.  
  
'Don't worry, it won't,' sighed McGonagall,' it'll still be born with a hooked nose and greasy hair.'  
  
Sibyls felt relieved and touched the portkey with Severus, and were too immediately sucked in. McGonagall looked at the quill.  
  
'Well, thank heavens that was over,' she mumbled,' now, how am I going to get rid of the cramp in my eyebrow?'  
  
********  
  
Severus and Sibyl landed right in the middle of the street on top of Hagrid and Filch. Filch was bounded back and landed right in the open sewer on the street.  
  
'Why is it that I always end up in the sewer?' moaned Filch's voice from the hole.  
  
He climbed up, and Sibyl cast a cleaning charm on him. Filch grumbled at the cleanness, but he was happy that he still had his faithful mop with him. (I mean, what is a Filch without his mop?)  
  
'So, you're already here?' asked a soft voice behind them.  
  
They turned around and saw an old friend who aided them through all their quests.  
  
'Dushan!' exclaimed Severus,' I 'm surprised that YOU'RE here already!'  
  
Dushan just smiled, and then he spotted Sibyl.  
  
'My, my, how you've changed Sibyl!' he exclaimed,' Or shall I call you Mrs. Snape?'  
  
Sibyl blushed but answered him that the name Sibyl will do just fine.  
  
'You wanted to see me?' asked Dushan, getting to more serious points.  
  
'Yes,' coughed Severus,' We have found your letter to Dumbledore this morning, and we were wondering what you were talking about.'  
  
'By what means?' asked Dushan sharply.  
  
'Because Dumbledore's missing and we need all the clues that we can get to find him.' Explained coolly Severus.  
  
Dushan drew in a sharp breath. He seemed to be thinking very hardly.  
  
'I'm deeply sorry about Albus, and I wish that I could help,' hesitated Dushan,' but I cannot tell you what we were writing about.'  
  
'Why not?' inquired Sibyl.  
  
Dushan looked at her. ' Because he told me that we would keep it a secret. I can only tell you that it has something to do with our last mission.'  
  
Severus thought, and suddenly things clicked into place.  
  
'You don't mean.. The potion..' He trailed off.  
  
Dushan nodded.  
  
'Oh dear..' Rumbled Hagid.  
  
Suddenly, a familiar man went by them. Hagrid's eyes gleamed in recognition.  
  
'Eh! It's the karate trainer in our first mission! 'ey yeh!' called Hagrid.  
  
The karate trainer (read Crazy Quest 1) looked at him and also recognized the group.  
  
'Oh no!' moaned the trainer and ran away screaming.  
  
Hagrid was crestfallen. 'I hoped that he would talk to us,' he sighed.  
  
Suddenly, an owl flew towards them, and dropped a letter. Severus opened it and read:  
  
'You may not know me, but I know you.  
  
Go to Iceland, the land of blue.'  
  
'How can Iceland be land of blue?' snapped Filch,' The writer is a bad poet!'  
  
'Aw, Filch wha' do yeh know about poetry?' moaned Hagrid.  
  
'Certainly more than you!' bit back Filch.  
  
Severus was silent.  
  
'What is it?' asked Sibyl.  
  
'I'm just wondering who sent us this letter,' murmured Severus.  
  
'And if it is a trap.' Added Dushan.  
  
Severus looked once again at the letter. Who would help them?  
  
'Well, one thing is for sure,' announced Severus,' we have to go to Iceland to find out!'  
  
They didn't notice someone from the shadows was watching them..and it wasn't Lucius Malfoy!  
  
  
  
Writer's Note: Oh great! I'm running out of ideas! Sibyl WILL have pregnancy problems, but a bit later...Please review! 


	3. Pubs in Iceland

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Sorry you've all been waiting for my new story, but I had some problems on logging in.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review! All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except Dushan.  
  
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Our friends went to the Austrian Ministry of Magic, and asked for the portkey to Iceland. Since all the Ministries of Magic in the world knew that Dumbledore was missing, they had no trouble getting one. It was a little piece of cheese. Just before they touched the portkey, Sibyl shrieked:  
  
'Oh! The baby kicked!'  
  
Filch went pale and screamed,' Ahhh! It's going to rip your stomach apart! Kill it!'  
  
'Argus you twit!' barked Severus,' It's a normal reaction!'  
  
'Oh...' realized Filch.  
  
So, anyway, they all touched the portkey and were swiped off to Iceland. They landed on a grassy area in the middle of nowhere. They looked around.  
  
'Well, nothing special here,' shrugged Filch.  
  
Suddenly they all screamed when a geyser erupted from the ground not far away from them.  
  
'I didn't know there were geysers!' grumbled Hagrid.  
  
Dushan looked down into a valley (yes, they were on some kind of mountain).  
  
'Hey, there is a village down there!' exclaimed Dushan,' Let's go to it.'  
  
While they were walking, Hagrid was thinking of something.  
  
'Wait ah minute,' he frowned,' isn't Vienna in Austria? What is the karate teacher doing there?'  
  
'Oh, probably he was sick of holding lessons in Germany, since we came there, and decided to try his luck in the neighboring country,' unconcernedly said Severus.  
  
When they finally got to the village, they began walking down the street, reading the signs.  
  
'Most of them are in Icelandish language,' muttered Filch,' oh, wait, there is one in English: "The Blue Island". It reminds me of something. . . .'  
  
Severus quickly grabbed the little note they got in Vienna from his pocket and read it again.  
  
'"You may not know me, but I know you,  
  
You have to go to Iceland, the island of blue."  
  
' We have to go to the 'Blue Island' pub for our next clue!' exclaimed Severus.  
  
They all agreed on that ands went into the little pub. It was pretty crowded and there were a lot of people near the bar.  
  
'Ah bottle of butterbeer, please!' asked Hagrid.  
  
The barman looked at him strangely because he didn't understand, nor he knew what Hagrid was talking about (which is the same thing, of course).  
  
'Oh, stop spending time around the bar, and come help us!' snapped Severus.  
  
They kept searching for a clue around the bar. Hagrid went under a couple's table, and when the couple were about to kiss, he sharply put his head up, knocking their jaws apart and spilling coffee over them.  
  
Filch looked under the table, and accidentally looked under a woman's dress, ending up with a horrid bruise on his right eye.  
  
Sibyl went to a table where there were smokers and wanted to look behind a plant in the pot when one of the smokers blew smoke into her face.  
  
'Watch with that smoke, you creep!' yelled Sibyl, so the whole pub was watching them.  
  
One of them, who knew English, snidely remarked,' Or you'll what? Send your husband on me?'  
  
Suddenly, Severus and Hagrid appeared on either side of her. Hagrid was too big and dangerous, and Severus didn't look so handsome, so it was horrifying to imagine what the child would be like, so they immediately left the table.  
  
Sibyl looked behind the plant and saw a note, which she read out loud:  
  
'The next place where you should go,  
  
Is Rio de Janeir-O.'  
  
'So, we should go to Brazil?' asked Filch, nursing his bruised eye.  
  
'Damn right!' exclaimed Dushan.  
  
They all skipped outside (because they were so happy) with all the people watching them. The mysterious person also watched them from a distant hill, when under his feet a geyser erupted, sending him flying into the air.  
  
  
  
Writer's Note: Ok, so there was a bit involvement of Sibyl's pregnancy, but there will be more! Please review! 


	4. Embaressing photos and dentists in Brazi...

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Sorry you've all been waiting for my new story, but I had some problems on logging in.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review! All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except Dushan. I'm truly sorry about the Vienna thing: I was thinking about something else, and I accidentally said that it was in Germany. I rarely read over my story, so I didn't notice the mistake.  
  
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They skipped until Sibyl said that she was getting stomach cramps, and then walked to the Icelandic Ministry of Magic. The ministry gave them a portkey (which was a miniature fountain that looked like a geyser) and they were deported to Brazil.  
  
They landed again on a grassy area, which was a small park. People around them were walking around, not noticing that there was a huge man, one man with a mop, a man who looked like a killer and a weird woman with a bloated stomach on the grass.  
  
'What is that?' asked Filch, pointing to a familiar-shaped mountain.  
  
Dushan looked at it.  
  
'Oh, it's the Sugar Loaf Mountain!' exclaimed Dushan.  
  
'Its made of sugar?' asked Hagrid, licking his lips.  
  
'No, it looks like a loaf of sugar, so that's why it is called the Sugar Loaf Mountain!' snapped Severus impatiently.  
  
  
  
They went into the town, looking where they should go. Filch took out a photograph of Dumbledore, and began asking people if they had seen him.  
  
'Have you seen this man?' asked Filch, showing a nearby passenger the photo.  
  
The passenger looked at the photo, and began laughing his head off.  
  
'I guess it is a no,' said Filch sadly, then brightened up, when a woman passed by,' Have you seen this man?'  
  
The woman blushed when she saw the photo and hurried off.  
  
'Let me see that photo!' ordered Severus, snatching the photo from Filch's hands.  
  
When he saw the photo, it seemed that one of his nightmares came true. Dumbledore was wearing a pink nightgown, and was doing the can can, waving happily to the crowd!  
  
'Argus, you idiot! No wonder the people are acting strangely, as if you offered them to swallow a piano!' bit Severus angrily.  
  
Severus fished a photograph from his pocket.  
  
'Use this one.' He said shortly.  
  
Filch looked at the photo and had a bewildered look on his face.  
  
'But...' protested Filch.  
  
'Do. It. ! ' hissed Severus in a deadly way.  
  
So Filch had to show the photograph of Dumbledore wearing an old type of orange swimming costume, a diving snorkel on his face, pink sandals with socks- to the passengers. Now, Dumbledore looked like some kind of alien or underwater devil worshipper.  
  
They kept looking around, until they saw a dentist's ordination.  
  
'Hey, look at the name!' laughed Hagrid,' It is called 'O' !'  
  
But Severus with his quick mind quickly discovered the trick.  
  
'Rio De Janeir-O! That's what the clue was talking about! Let's get in!' explained Severus.  
  
They went inside, when he dentist came up to them. He smiled, showing his white teeth.  
  
'Welcome to 'O'! Do you want your teeth fixed?' he asked, showing to a room which was full of big, strange flies.  
  
'Erm...no thanks,' stumbled confusedly Sibyl.  
  
'That's Ok,' said sadly the dentist.  
  
Severus ran into the ordination, where the dentist did his work. There was a table, which had strange injection springs on it. Severus opened one, and inside he saw the message.  
  
'Found it!' he exclaimed,' Listen what it says:  
  
'As the people say, to visit the land of Australia,  
  
You must go down under.'  
  
'Next mission, Australia, right?' asked Filch, getting it.  
  
'Do you want your teeth fixed?' asked the dentist.  
  
Filch grew pale.  
  
'He's going to rip my teeth out!' he shrieked.  
  
Filch grabbed a nearby injection, and stabbed the dentist's with all his might with the injection. The poor dentist screamed.  
  
'Argus, you idiot! What have you done?' Yelled Severus above the noise.  
  
But Filch was too panicky.  
  
'Let's run! ' He cried, grabbing Severus' hand and ran out of the building, the others trailing behind them.  
  
  
  
Writer's Note: This 'stab the dentist scene' I got the idea from Mr. Bean series, but it would be funny in Hogwarts style! Please review! 


	5. Sewers and sharks in Australia

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Sorry you've all been waiting for my new story, but I had some problems on logging in.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review! All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except Dushan. ///////////  
  
'Why did you have to stab him Argus?' roared Severus.  
  
The Brazilian Minister of Magic just hummed and looked upon the shelves for the portkey to Australia.  
  
'I thought he was going to rip my teeth out!' whimpered Filch.  
  
'Oh, what is it with you and ripping people's teeth, stomachs or whatever?' barked Severus.  
  
The minister just said nothing as he pulled out happily the portkey(which was a coconut) and set it on the table. Obviously he ignored the quarrel between Filch and Severus. Moreover, he found it amusing.  
  
Grumbling, Severus touched the portkey, and they were all transported to Australia. They fell on the pavement, with a loud Thump!  
  
'Ow!' cried out Hagrid,' I think I hit me rump!'  
  
Everyone ignored Hagrid.  
  
'Its so hot here!' complained Severus.  
  
'Of course, when you were all those black robes!' answered Dushan.  
  
Yes, we just realised now that all the time they were wearing robes and no one even noticed them. Oh well..  
  
'Where do we go now?' asked Sibyl.  
  
Severus took out the note:' We have to go down under. I think that this is a clue.'  
  
'That's what we call Australia!' bit Filch, walking around.  
  
But he stepped on an empty sewer (again) and fell down. Severus' face lit up.  
  
'That's it! Down under! We have to go into the sewer!' he exclaimed.  
  
'Oh dear god!' moaned Filch from the hole.  
  
Severus thought quickly.  
  
'Sibyl, stay behind!' he said,' You're pregnant, so you can't go into that filthy place down there!'  
  
'Severus, before you go, can you kiss me?' she asked.  
  
'Well, before I go will certainly be better than when I come back!' shuddered Severus, thinking of all that dirt down there.  
  
He gave her a small kiss, and went down with the others.  
  
In the sewer, there was like a small pavement that you can walk on, not to fall down into the deep, dirty water.  
  
'It smells!' wrinkled his nose Filch.  
  
'Yeah, like you don't!' chuckled Hagrid.  
  
Filch shot him daggers. They went on, until they came up to a bottle. Severus bent down and picked it. There was a message inside.  
  
'That's our clue!' he whispered.  
  
Dushan pulled out the message and read it out loud:  
  
'My friends, well done you,  
  
'The next place to go is the Borneo crew.'  
  
'We'll see what the message means,' said Dushan, tucking the message away,' let's go!'  
  
But Filch and Hagrid were still quarreling.  
  
'I'm smelly!' shrieked Filch,' You lie, Hairy Legs!'  
  
'Screwed nut!' barked back Hagrid.  
  
'Fat, bearded pig!' screamed Filch.  
  
With anger, Hagrid pushed Filch into the dirty water (which was unfortunately filled with someone's 'necessities'. Ahem!)  
  
'Ooops!' mumbled Hagrid.  
  
'Help!' screamed Filch, water getting into his mouth.  
  
'That's disgusting!' recoiled away Dushan.  
  
The current was carrying Filch downstream, towards the sea (yes, they were in Sydney).  
  
They ran to help him, but the sewer already reached the end, and Filch was thrown into the sea. The others could just stay behind.  
  
Filch saw something sinister and dark moving towards him in the warm sea...  
  
'Help! Shark!' screamed Filch.  
  
Severus thought quickly, putting his hand into his pocket, and pulled out a familiar necklace. Yes, the necklace, which gave him ability to turn into any animal, he wanted.  
  
He put it around his neck, and transformed into a dragon. Severus spread his wings, swooped down, and reluctantly placed his talons, around Filch's dirty shoulders.  
  
He pulled Filch out of the water in the nick of time, before the shark bit him.  
  
He flew over to the beach, and dropped Filch, turning himself back to normal.  
  
'Thank you!' gasped Filch.  
  
'My talons are covered with bogies!' complained Severus.  
  
But they were all happy that Filch was alive.  
  
They walked back to the place where they started, all filthy from the sewer. Sibyl was nearby drinking lemonade on such a hot day.  
  
'What took you so long?' she asked the dirty heap when she saw them, while they just looked at her in disbelief.  
  
Writer's Notes: The sewer thing I must admit that I copied from 'Allo 'allo series, from the episode 'The big flush'. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next one will have more action. Please review! 


	6. Cannibals in Borneo

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Sorry you've all been waiting for my new story, but I had some problems on logging in.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review! All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except Dushan. ///////////  
  
The Australian Ministry of Magic gave them the portkey (which was a toy kangaroo) that would take them to Borneo, once they had cleaned up from the sewer.  
  
All of our friends touched the toy, and were immediately departed. Severus landed in an exotic bush, Dushan and Sibyl landed on the solid ground that was covered by maggots, while Filch landed on a branch of a very tall tree. They were in a jungle.  
  
'Where is Hagrid?' wondered Filch, but his question was soon answered.  
  
Hagrid appeared out of nowhere, and fell onto Filch, making the branch crack under their weight and fall onto the ground, joining the maggots. Obviously, Hagrid touched the portkey later.  
  
'Never do that again!' screeched Filch.  
  
They all got up, and faced one way.  
  
'Well...it's ah jungle. . . .' Murmured Hagrid.  
  
'Hagrid, stop prodding me in the back!' grumbled Filch.  
  
'It wasn't meh!' defended Hagrid.  
  
They slowly turned around, and were met eye with eye with a wild Borneo jungle tribe, holding spears.  
  
Filch screamed.  
  
Severus and Dushan went for their wands, but were shocked that they were not here!  
  
'We lost them in the jungle!' whispered Dushan.  
  
'Wonderful!' groaned Severus,' now we are captured!'  
  
They were pushed forward, with the tribe right behind them, prodding the spears into their backs. They walked and walked, until they came upon a little village, where there was a whole crowd waiting for them.  
  
The chief stood at the front.  
  
'You visitors?' he asked.  
  
'You speak English?' asked Severus incredulously.  
  
'Of course,' smiled the chief,' I was taught by passengers by.'  
  
'Erm..well, can you tell them to let us go?' inquired Dushan,' These spears are really sharp.'  
  
'Thank you for the compliment about our spears,' smiled even more the chief,' but, we cannot let you go. We will give you the honor to be our lunch!'  
  
'Oh dear!' went green Hagrid.  
  
'Being somebody's lunch isn't an honor, you know!' said Filch.  
  
The chief stared at them.  
  
'Don't worry, we have already got one of your friends in the pot, so you won't be lonely,' said the chief.  
  
Severus furrowed his brow.  
  
'Friends? What friends?' asked Severus.  
  
'Oh, you will meet him, he is such a nice fellow...' Wandered off the chief.  
  
The chief motioned the guards to take them to the pot. As they went towards it, they were meat-err, met by one of their friends in it...  
  
'Hello!' squeaked Flitwick in the pot,' jump in, it's so nice and warm!'  
  
'Frederick! What are you doing here?' gasped Severus. * I know Flitwick's name is Fidelus, but ever since I was writing these series, I have always called him Frederick. It won't have sense to change now then, would it? *  
  
'Oh, I have just been passing by to deliver you this message!' said Flitwick.  
  
'How did you know about the messages, we didn't tell anyone!' frowned Severus.  
  
'Because I was the person who was giving you the messages!' answered Flitwick carelessly.  
  
'YOU WHAT?' they all yelled in unison.  
  
'How did you know...' Spluttered Sibyl.  
  
'Well, as you may have noticed, I wasn't at the staff meeting, nobody notices me anymore,' sighed Flitwick,' I was kidnapped with Albus, and barely escaped. I couldn't come out, because I would be caught, so I sent you clues. Sorry, if I took you around the world, it was so fun!'  
  
'I should have known!' claimed Filch, ' you always wrote bad poetry!'  
  
'And you spent us time!' chimed in Sibyl.  
  
'Yes, I'm sorry,' lowered his head Flitwick, but suddenly, his eyes gleamed,' would you like to come into this hot bath?'  
  
'NO!!!!' they all yelled.  
  
'Fine,' sighed Flitwick.  
  
He took out his wand from his robes (yes, he was dressed even in the hot water. This is PG-13! No nudity allowed! Shudder!)  
  
Flitwick got out of the 'bath' and went to the friends.  
  
'You're leaving?' asked the chief, heartbroken.  
  
'Afraid so,' answered Flitwick,' but I had a nice bath. See you!'  
  
Once all our friends clung onto Flitwick, they Apparated.  
  
The chief looked around.  
  
'Go, get some food!' he ordered the hunters, as they resumed their ordinary, cannibalistic lives. 


	7. Voldy Morty in Kenya

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Sorry you've all been waiting for my new story, but I had some problems on logging in.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review! All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except Dushan. ///////////  
  
The Borneo Ministry of Magic gave them a portkey (no, they didn't want our friends for dinner, like the tribe), which was a small spear.  
  
'So, where do we have to go, Frederick?' asked Severus.  
  
'To Kenya.' Answered Flitwick, touching the portkey and getting departed.  
  
  
  
Our friends looked at each other, and also touched the portkey. They again landed in a jungle, but a bit more..Afriky this time.  
  
'I'm really beginning to get sick of jungles this time,' mumbled Sibyl.  
  
'Well, you should have predicted that in your crystal ball at home,' snapped Filch,' I hate them too. So...messy!!!'  
  
'Like you aren't,' grunted Hagrid.  
  
'Don't get me started on that again!' growled Filch.  
  
'And what? End up in the sewer like last time?' sneered Hagrid.  
  
'No, but this time you will get my mop up your-'  
  
* 'No swearing guys, please!' said a voice.  
  
'Who are you?' they both asked.  
  
'It's just me, Serb, the narrator,' the voice (me) explains,' this is PG- 13!'  
  
'What?' wondered Hagrid.  
  
Serb sighed and oblivated them, making them forget that Serb ever existed, and will only appear to narrate the story. Now, back to the story. *  
  
Our friends came up to a strange cave, which had some strange hieroglophs on it, and some strange writing.  
  
'Pretty strange, for a cave, isn't it?' asked Dushan.  
  
They went inside, and came up to even more hieroglyphs.  
  
'Don't they ever end?' asked Severus.  
  
They went up a tunnel, walking, walking, until they came up till the end where there a ray of yellow light came out.  
  
'Wonder where that leads to?' asked Dushan.  
  
His question was soon answered.  
  
They slowly creeped up to the light and a shock met their eyes.  
  
Looking down from the wall, which led into a huge stone room, was about a dozen of Death Eaters, who were gathered in a circle. In the middle there was a huge stone table, where Dumbledore was tied up on it, and next to him stood none other than Lord Voldemort himself.  
  
'You should have more sense than tying up an old man like this,' grumbled Dumbledore,' I could be your grandfather!'  
  
'You're not, thank god,' hissed Voldy.  
  
'The Hogwarts staff will never help you!' defended Dumbledore.  
  
'MUAHAHA!!! Be quiet, you old crackpot!' laughed Voldemort.  
  
'What do you want from me?' asked Dumbledore, looking coldly into Voldemort's eyes.  
  
'You'll find out soon!'  
  
'But, I want to know now!'  
  
'Shut up, DumbOldDork!' barked Voldy (I'm too tired to write 'Voldemort').  
  
Filch was about to yell out not to swear because this is PG-13 (even though he never knew where such a thing came up in his mind) when Severus luckily clamped his hand over Filch's mouth. * Did you notice that J. K. Rowling makes Snape say 'Shut up'? No offense, but I'm just saying. *  
  
'Thank god they can't notice us up here...' Sighed Dushan.  
  
Suddenly, Hagrid lost his balance looking down, so he fell down, pulling all our friends with him. They noisily tumbled down, and every Death Eater, turned around to see what was happening. They saw our friends in a heap!  
  
'....or maybe not.' Trailed off Dushan.  
  
'I knew you'd come!' cheered Dumbledore,' is the Ministry of Magic with you?'  
  
'Errrrr...no. ' said Sibyl.  
  
'Messers Filch, Snape, Hagrid, Popovich and Mrs. Snape, how kind of you to join us,' smiled Voldemort with that Die Hard terrorist's smile and voice.  
  
  
  
Writer's Note: Dun, dun, dun! What will happen to our friends in the next chapter? Review, all you readers, and you will see...MUAHAHA!!! 


	8. Bye bye Voldie!

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Now comes the meeting between justice and evil.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review! All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except Dushan.  
  
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'I knew you would drop by, Severus,' calmly said Voldemort, while the Death Eaters tied our friends up.  
  
'You won't get away with this! ' Screeched Filch.  
  
'Hmmmm...yes, Dumbledore has been forcing you poor people too much to watch movies,' calculated Voldie.  
  
'Not movies,' interrupted Hagrid,' Spice Girls songs.'  
  
'Whatever.' Muttered Voldemort.  
  
Voldemort strolled over to where Dumbledore was tied up. He reached inside his robes. For a moment, everybody thought the Voldemort will curse Dumbledore with his wand, but instead took the bottle with the Black Pegasus blood.  
  
'This is a very useful little thing,' spoke Voldemort,' it can destroy me if I drink it, or it can make me immortal if I combine it with a right potion.  
  
' You all know that I drank unicorn blood, while Potter was in his first year. It made me very powerful. If I drink this blood purely, it will neutralize the unicorn blood, destroying me forever. I cannot be made again: once drank and survived, next time no chance.'  
  
Voldie turned around and walked to a Death Eater, who was making the potion.  
  
'When will I be able to add the Pegasus blood?' asked Voldie.  
  
'Very soon, my Lord.' Answered humbly back the Death Eater.  
  
As the Death Eaters were tying up Sibyl, she yelped,' Not so hard, please. It'll harm the child!'  
  
The Death Eater shrugged, and left her be. But little did he know that Sibyl was making up a plan. A little twisting of the ropes here and there, and she was free.  
  
'Well done Sibyl!' congratulated her silently.  
  
'I must thank Argus for borrowing me that muggle book "Goosebumps: Deep Trouble 2 ", ' smiled Sibyl,' otherwise I wouldn't have an idea!'  
  
She crept towards them, and undid their ropes. No one was watching them, all the Death Eaters were facing Voldemort and the potion.  
  
'It's finished!' claimed the Death Eater.  
  
'Good, now we only need a hair from a black hair person...' trailed off Voldemort.  
  
Severu suddenly knew what the certain potion was: the Polyjuice potion! Voldemort kidnapped Dumbledore, so he could get to Severus!  
  
With a roar, Hagrid ran towards Voldemort, and jumped on him, squashing the Dark Lord underneath.  
  
'Get him, you fools!' Voldemort's muffled voice came from underneath Hagrid's erm...behind.  
  
The Death Eaters began yelling some curses, when Flitwick came to the rescue (the others didn't have their wands, remember?) and began yelling some pretty fierce curses for such a tiny person like him.  
  
This had distracted the Death Eaters, so they ran over to poor little Flitwick, while Severus and the others ran towards the Dark Lord.  
  
Severus took out the bottle with the Pegasus blood, and uncorked it.  
  
Voldemort's eyes grew wide, and he screamed:' NO!!!'  
  
Hagrid wrenched Voldie's mouth open, and Severus poured the blood inside. Hagrid got off Voldie's back, while Voldie began to choke.  
  
Then, it was horrible. Voldemort began to melt before their eyes, and soon there was nothing, but something red and bubbly on the floor.  
  
'Hooray!!!' cheered Filch.  
  
Everyone rejoiced. But they had forgotten something...the rest of the Death Eaters!  
  
'Uh, oh..' Moaned Dushan.  
  
Suddenly, into the room burst in the Kenyan Ministry of Magic Aurors.  
  
'You are all under arrest!' they yelled (seriously, they watch too many movies).  
  
A few minutes later, Dumbledore joined the group.  
  
'Well done everyone, you did it!' cheerfully exclaimed Dumbledore,' you have defeated Voldemort!'  
  
'So it's over isn't it?' grimaced Sibyl.  
  
'Yes, why?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'AARRGGHHH!!!!' screamed Sibyl, as her labor began.  
  
Wrtier's Note: YAY! Next chapter, Sibyl will have the baby! I will try to make it funny! Please REVIEW! 


	9. Back to Hogwarts with a baby

Crazy Quest 3: Destination Dumbledore  
  
Writer's Note: Yay! Labor time!.. anyway, time to get back on my nutty story! Enjoy, and don't forget to review! All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except Dushan.  
  
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The Kenyan Ministry of Magic quickly had given them the portkey to Hogwarts, but portkeys didn't work in Hogwarts grounds, so they were transported outside them.  
  
After a short walk, they finally came to Hogwarts doors, and went up to the Hospital Wing.  
  
They burst in, with Dumbledore saying:' Poppy, its time!'  
  
Madame Pomphrey just sat in her little old stool, swaying slightly.  
  
'Twinkle, twinkle little star..' she sang drunkenly, before she collapsed into a deep sleep, snoring loudly.  
  
'I told her not to drink too much Butterbeer...' sighed Dumbledore.  
  
Sibyl, laid on one of the Hospital beds, looked around angrily.  
  
'Oh wonderful!' she snarled,' Now what are we going to do?'  
  
'We could try...' suggested Hagrid.  
  
Filch looked at him in horror.  
  
'Alright, but we have to have our hands clean.' Agreed Severus.  
  
'Oh, God...' Whimpered Filch.  
  
'The baby won't bit your head off!' spat Sibyl, breathing heavily.  
  
*******  
  
'Alright, Sibyl,' Severus putting on his gloves,' We will take this slowly.'  
  
'Slowly? Slowly! I want it out of me this instant!' she screeched.  
  
Filch stepped over to where Severus was standing. His eyes grew wide.  
  
'There's blood!' he yelled.  
  
'Of course there is, you idiot!' snarled Severus,' Albus, a hand please! '  
  
But Dumbledore had a strange expression on his face.  
  
'Oh, I'd love to...but, I have this papers to look at and.. .erm...' Stuttered Dumbledore, and ran out of the Hospital Wing.  
  
'Well, he's not helping!' breathed out Severus, 'Rubeus, give me the scalpel!'  
  
With trembling hands, Hagrid handed it over to him.  
  
'What are yeh going to do with it?' Shuddered Hagrid.  
  
'Cut.' Answered Severus shortly.  
  
'What?-' began Hagrid, when his question was answered.  
  
Hagrid quickly grabbed the Chloroform nearby.  
  
'What is the Chloroform for?' squeaked Flitwick (Dushan was knocked out in battle, so he was on the other Hospital bed, unconscious).  
  
'For meself!' Quickly answered back Hagrid, putting the liquid to his nose, and he fell down, unconscious. (A lot of people are going unconscious, aren't they? I think it's for a reason..)  
  
'Another one down!' sighed Flitwick.  
  
Filch grabbed a vacuum gum (you know, the piece of stick that has a rubber edge at the end, and is used in toilets; Hint: it sticks very well to anything, especially walls. Thieves in comedy movies use it to climb buildings).  
  
'Can we suck the baby out with this?' helpfully he asked.  
  
'NO!!!' Yelled Severus.  
  
'Erm, Severus, the baby is coming!' yelled Flitwick.  
  
'Does it have any teeth?' asked Argus.  
  
'No, why?' frowned Flitwick.  
  
'Thank God!' breathed out Filch,' I thought that it can bite your fingers!'  
  
'Oh, will you give it a rest already!' barked Severus.  
  
Sibyl screamed.  
  
'Almost over,' said Severus matter-of-factly.  
  
And thus, the baby was born. Now, I won't tell you the grisly scenes, because, ahem, this is PG-13, ahem.  
  
'Get me a towel!' yelled Severus.  
  
'A bucket won't do?' asked Filch, holding the bucket that he held his dirty mop in.  
  
'A. Towel.' Growled Severus.  
  
Soon, Sibyl was holding a sweet little baby girl in her embrace. Everybody crowded around her ( even Hagrid, who regained his consciousness after birth (strange...).  
  
'It can't be your baby, Professor Snape, she doesn't have any hair!' frowned Filch.  
  
'They are all born like that.' Sighed tiredly Severus.  
  
'What is her name?' asked Sibyl.  
  
Severus looked at the child.  
  
'How about Selena?' he asked.  
  
'Selena Snape, how nice.' Said Sibyl.  
  
'What is it with you and Severus Snape, Sibyl Snape and Selena Snape?' asked Filch.  
  
'They are all Snapes.' Sighed Dushan.  
  
******  
  
'Well, it was a good journey!' said cheerfully Dumbledore.  
  
'But you backed out of Sibyl's birth giving.' Hissed Severus, while Sibyl nodded furiously for that.  
  
'Oh, Severus, don't be still angry at that,' murmured Dumbledore, opening his office,' like I told you, I had some paperwork..'  
  
Once Dumbledore, Sibyl, Severus, Hagrid , Filch and Dushan entered the office, a shock met their eyes.  
  
The poor Sorting Hat was cowering in a corner, while Fawkes the phoenix was towering over it, licking its lips-err, beak, dark eyes flashing hungrily.  
  
'Polly wanna eat Sorting Hat!' smacked Fawkes his lips-oh darn it- beak.  
  
'No! I will sort you into a house!' pleaded the Hat.  
  
'Which?' asked suspiciously the stupid phoenix.  
  
'Gryffindor!' announced the Sorting Hat.  
  
'Polly doesn't like Gryffindor!' screeched the bird.  
  
'Ravenclaw!' tried again the hat.  
  
'Polly hates Ravenclaw!'  
  
'Slytherin!'  
  
Fawkes' eyes flashed dangerously,' Polly wanna kill Sorting Hat!'  
  
'Hufflepuff?' asked the hat hopefully.  
  
'Ahhh,' said wisely Fawkes,' Hufflepuff is good. Polly likes Hufflepuff.'  
  
With that, Fawkes left the Hat alone. Dumbledore turned towards the stunned group.  
  
'Tea, anyone?' he asked as if nothing has happened.  
  
THE END  
  
Writer's Note: This is The End, and I mean it! I won't be writing Crazy Quest stories anymore (sniff), let's face it, I ran out of ideas. Don't worry, when Selena grows up, she will be a Slytherin, just as all Snapes after her (they won't be in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, like those stupid stories like 'Eliza Diawna Snape'). Tell me if I should rate these stories R, because of the birth. Also, tell me what to write next, I'm planning to leave Vampire Half for a little later. Please Review! 


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